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How to Handle Divorce Mediation in NY - What to Know

  • Writer: Said Ibrahim
    Said Ibrahim
  • Aug 29
  • 6 min read

Many people in New York want to lower the cost associated with divorce, and the mediation process can help. It's important to know what it is and how to handle it.


With divorce mediation, a trained, neutral third party meets with both spouses remotely or in person. The mediator's role is to help them work through their issues and find solutions that fulfill their needs.


Ultimately, resolving disputes is the goal, and both parties must want to reach a settlement agreement to avoid the expense of a traditional divorce trial.


New York law encourages mediation and other alternative dispute resolution methods. They can be cost-effective and will likely reduce the stress couples go through when trying to dissolve their marriages. However, the best option is to hire a lawyer to assist with the process. One can contact Divorce & Family Legal, LLC to learn more.


Where to Use New York Divorce Mediation

Where to Use New York Divorce Mediation


It's possible to use mediation before, during, and after filing for divorce. Even when conflicts arise after the dissolution of marriage is finalized, this process is an option.


Mediation Before Divorce Filings

To file for an uncontested divorce in New York, both spouses must agree on important legal issues, such as:


  • Property division and dividing debts

  • Spousal support (called spousal maintenance in New York)

  • Child custody/support if there are minor/dependent children involved


If both parties cannot work out those issues, a mediator helps them. The same process is involved for a settlement agreement.


While mediation can be done without a lawyer, it's often wise to hire a family attorney in Albany. Though frequently used for traditional litigation, they can provide legal advice, negotiate a fair settlement, and prepare their client for the process.


When a couple chooses mediation, they have more control over their divorce and the outcome, reducing conflicts and ending on more amicable terms.


Family Mediation During Divorce

Couples can still choose mediation even if they haven't reached a settlement agreement and filed for divorce. This is a great first step that can help both parties deal with complex issues.


Often, couples seeking a divorce are required to participate in mediation first. A judge would order this.


Post-divorce Mediation for More Informed Decisions

Divorce doesn't always end disputes between parties. For example, one person might wish to increase their spousal maintenance or child support amounts. Alternatively, a parent may decide to move outside the state and take the kids.


If both parties can't agree on any changes to the divorce judgment, mediation might help them avoid court battles over their requests.


Typically, both parties will include provisions in the original settlement agreement that they will make sincere efforts to mediate future disagreements before going back to court for changes to the parenting plan.


When Does One Require Family Mediation?


New York courts call divorce cases "matrimonial cases," and there is now a "presumptive mediation" initiative in place. This started in 2019 and requires mediation early in the legal process. Likewise, the same method is used for custody battles not part of a dissolution of marriage.


Court-ordered mediation varies between New York counties. Generally, after filing for divorce, the judge will review the paperwork and decide if the case is eligible for alternative dispute resolution methods.


In Westchester County, divorce cases are often referred to mediation when the couple doesn't have minor children, the spouses requested it, or there are kids, but both parents work. However, this doesn't apply if there's a history of domestic violence or child abuse in the marriage.


It's possible to request an exemption from a presumptive mediation session. Still, many counties in NY require couples to convince a judge that there is a very good reason for not participating.


Other NY counties make mediation a voluntary process. Even after court referrals, one can stop participating.


The Cost of Divorce Mediation in New York


Various factors determine the cost of divorce mediation. The most important aspect is whether the couple uses a private mediator, a nonprofit service, or a court-connected dispute resolution option.


Why Pay for Private Mediation

Typically, nonprofit and court-connected mediation services are less expensive or sometimes free. However, it might still be best to choose a private mediator.


Private mediation can cost anywhere from $3,000 to $8,000. That amount is often split evenly between spouses. It seems like a lot of money, but it could be the best solution for both parties.


Usually, private mediation includes multiple sessions with a mediator, whereas low-cost and free options are limited to a single 90-minute meeting. If both parties cannot resolve their issues in that time frame, they will pay significantly higher fees to continue.


Likewise, after both parties reach an agreement, most mediation services will prepare all the paperwork and file it, which makes the divorce process that much easier.


Overall, it's important to remember that if mediation is successful, it will be less expensive than dealing with a divorce trial.


How Mediation Works in NY


Because divorce mediation is confidential in New York, the mediator can't reveal anything about either party, what was said, or the documents provided during the process. However, there are a few exceptions to the rule, which one must understand. These include:


  • Documents and other relevant information that must be submitted to the court, such as financial disclosures

  • Allegations of child abuse

  • Credible threats of immediate and serious harm

  • Any agreement that is signed


If there is only a draft agreement in place, this will not be presented to anyone else. The mediator should provide a full explanation of the rules before mediation begins.


Usually, the mediation process follows these stages:


  • Orientation

  • Gathering data about the case, such as property, finances, and children

  • Identifying the needs and wants of each spouse

  • Exploring various settlement options

  • Negotiating a fair settlement


How Does the Mediation Process Work in Cases Involving Power Imbalances or Abuse?


Mediation can't work if both spouses cannot negotiate freely and without feeling pressured or afraid to agree to things they don't want. Therefore, it's often not recommended when there has been ongoing emotional abuse or domestic violence within the marriage.


Most New York courts have rules in place stating that cases aren't eligible for presumptive mediation if there are allegations of domestic violence or a severe power imbalance between both parties. Likewise, this option could be inappropriate if one spouse actively hides assets and income from the other person.


While the abused spouse can still choose mediation, it's wise for the mediator to speak to each party separately.


Many organizations offer resources and assistance focusing on physical safety and internet privacy, including RAINN and the National Domestic Violence Hotline.


Completing a New York Divorce After Mediation


If both spouses can reach an agreement during mediation, the next step is to file that with the court, along with the final paperwork. Sometimes, mediators help with this. Similarly, if each person hired a lawyer, they would assist.


In New York, couples generally don't have to go to a hearing to finalize the divorce if they've reached a settlement agreement and have appropriate documentation. A judge can review everything to ensure it meets the state's legal requirements and is in the best interests of everyone involved.


Generally, the requirements include:


  • Provisions in the settlement agreement regarding health care coverage for both spouses

  • Provisions for child support and custody that are in the best interests of the kids


Each party will get a notice from the court when the judge approves everything and signs a divorce judgment.


Certain counties require the spouses to file the judgment in that specific court, but that's not always the case. It's wise to research these things to ensure everything is done correctly.

The person who filed the divorce papers originally must have the judgment served to the other spouse, as well.


When Divorce Mediation Fails


While mediation works for many couples, it's not perfect. No one is ever required to agree to things they don't like. Even if both parties were ordered to participate, they can say "no" to the other spouse's demands.


Sometimes, certain New York counties allow a judge to issue a second mediation session if the first one wasn't successful. Each party must show up and try, but again, they don't have to agree or finalize a settlement that doesn't work for them.


If both parties cannot reach a full settlement agreement during mediation, they will need to hire lawyers and go through the uncontested divorce process. Frequently, that doesn't work, either. In that case, they would go to trial so that a judge could decide on unresolved issues. Our team can also consult on how to handle divorce when domestic violence is involved in NY.


Why Work With a Lawyer for Divorce Mediation

Why Work With a Lawyer for Divorce Mediation


Most couples have specific concerns when they choose to dissolve their marriages. It can be challenging to work through those issues, even if both parties are amicable.


New York focuses on mediation as a first step in almost all cases because it's less expensive, quicker, and reduces stress. Still, it's important to work with a divorce attorney to ensure that everything is done fairly and correctly. Divorce & Family Legal, LLC is a top choice for many couples.


Mediation can help in many situations. If you're going through a divorce, it's best to have legal representation. Request a free consultation from Divorce & Family Legal, LLC today.

 
 
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